Tuesday, June 14, 2011

let's have a fitness chat.

This post is about "not running away" "not giving up" "facing and conquering demons"

Hell, call it whatever you want to, I saw it in myself last night.

It was suspected that the "kidney cancer roadtrip" discovery was triggered by a particular boot camp drill.

See the picture below.......

This is a tire pull - the straps on the tires we use go around your waist. The suspicion from the doctor was that the excess pressure through my midsection during this drill was what aggravated the cancer tumour.

I haven't looked at those tires since that day. I had not avoided them, this drill just had not come up in the workout rotation. UNTIL LAST NIGHT.

I am stronger than I have ever been - mentally and physically - today. While the bootcamp workout is challenging every time, I have learned to fight my way through them. I have learned that you will not die from pushing yourself to the point of puking if needed to finish something. And the feeling of accomplishment when the workout is finished is worth every step and lift and sweat drop that wets even my underwear.

I kinda thought I had it going on --- UNTIL LAST NIGHT ---

We warmed up - We ran - We met at the practice field - We were told there were three stations - Station one for my group was abs. three minutes worth (DONE DEAL) -

Station two was a hill drill, jog down the hill then alternating lunges back up that hill - repeat three times (DONE DEAL and I FINISHED FIRST FOR MY GROUP) -

Station three was those tire pulls and on the walk to that station the irrational demons jumped on me. I was in tears before I got there and absolutely could not get a grip. The power of this emotional and mental demon surprised me - actually scared me with its intensity and power. So this sweaty, hard breathing, crazy lady, now in an irrational, hysterical, teary eyed frame of mind wants to literally say "screw this, I cannot do it." But the part of me who slays demons won that battle - I chose my tire, tossed that strap around my waist and pulled that damn tire three times up and down that field.

On the repeat of the circuit - there was a new spill of tears. Not hysterical irrational or full of fear. NOPE - this second round of tears washed away the ugly bloody remants of that demon slaying.

I finished the workout strong.

It was a physically demanding workout, but last night I learned that on this fitness journey, I cannot plan for what demons may rear their ugly head and start chanting "you cannot do this", but I can decide to silence them by simply powering on through the tears and fears.


I do not run away. I do not give up. I do not allow fear to have power. These are choices I get to make. And amazingly enough - that lesson will serve me equally as well in all areas of my life.

Nope - I choose to move "only forward, never longing to go back".

Have a beautiful day ---

Monday, June 06, 2011

Missing in action....

Sorry - I didn't mean to do that again. Maybe shortly, posting will return to normal. Just had some huge life things happen to us lately. Not anything horrible - just Softball Princess graduating from high school - as the valedictorian - and other good good things.

So MaggieGrace goodness is a little shy right now. But that will be changing.

But I did have a few things to share with the internet peeps.

Ernestine Cochran, a very dear friend of mine, gave me this yesterday at church. She is a talented porcelain artist and I have several pieces of her work. But this one is so very special. It is in recognition of my cancer survival.

It came with prayers for my continued good health.

But here is the really cool part...........

That's my house. I love my house.

And on the other side......

That's my big barn... all covered with trumpet vine. That vine is in bloom right now.

And my breast cancer and kidney cancer ribbons.

I literally squealed when she gave it to me.

I am so blessed by really special people in my life.

Now for those who read because they be family members......

Saturday we were invited to the govenors mansion for a valedictorian recognition reception. This picture is way out of order, because this is right after we blew off the speeches and bailed on the whole program. The Princess was the instigator. But there wasn't much discussion before we all decided that was an excellent idea.

Mom Dad and Princess outside the mansion.

This needlepoint firescreen was in the first editions library. It has been cut from the canvas and handstitched to the silk. Intricate and beautiful.

Graduation Night - College Girl and Softball Princess. These two are my life.

A word about the Princess Speech at graduation. She is not your typical really serious academic student. We were not privy to any of her speech preparation - so moms mouth dropped open when her first word at the podium was "wassup". That jaw drop was soon followed by the phrase "oh my God" as she proceeded to deliver a witty and majorly different valedictorians address - to many cheers and much applause from the packed house.

We will be spending the summer getting ready for the transition into being a college student.

College Girl will be spending her time in the Chemistry Dept at UGA on a summer internship and collecting salamander eggs for her senior bio chem research project.

Hope this finds all of you having a wonderful day.