Tuesday, June 14, 2011

let's have a fitness chat.

This post is about "not running away" "not giving up" "facing and conquering demons"

Hell, call it whatever you want to, I saw it in myself last night.

It was suspected that the "kidney cancer roadtrip" discovery was triggered by a particular boot camp drill.

See the picture below.......

This is a tire pull - the straps on the tires we use go around your waist. The suspicion from the doctor was that the excess pressure through my midsection during this drill was what aggravated the cancer tumour.

I haven't looked at those tires since that day. I had not avoided them, this drill just had not come up in the workout rotation. UNTIL LAST NIGHT.

I am stronger than I have ever been - mentally and physically - today. While the bootcamp workout is challenging every time, I have learned to fight my way through them. I have learned that you will not die from pushing yourself to the point of puking if needed to finish something. And the feeling of accomplishment when the workout is finished is worth every step and lift and sweat drop that wets even my underwear.

I kinda thought I had it going on --- UNTIL LAST NIGHT ---

We warmed up - We ran - We met at the practice field - We were told there were three stations - Station one for my group was abs. three minutes worth (DONE DEAL) -

Station two was a hill drill, jog down the hill then alternating lunges back up that hill - repeat three times (DONE DEAL and I FINISHED FIRST FOR MY GROUP) -

Station three was those tire pulls and on the walk to that station the irrational demons jumped on me. I was in tears before I got there and absolutely could not get a grip. The power of this emotional and mental demon surprised me - actually scared me with its intensity and power. So this sweaty, hard breathing, crazy lady, now in an irrational, hysterical, teary eyed frame of mind wants to literally say "screw this, I cannot do it." But the part of me who slays demons won that battle - I chose my tire, tossed that strap around my waist and pulled that damn tire three times up and down that field.

On the repeat of the circuit - there was a new spill of tears. Not hysterical irrational or full of fear. NOPE - this second round of tears washed away the ugly bloody remants of that demon slaying.

I finished the workout strong.

It was a physically demanding workout, but last night I learned that on this fitness journey, I cannot plan for what demons may rear their ugly head and start chanting "you cannot do this", but I can decide to silence them by simply powering on through the tears and fears.


I do not run away. I do not give up. I do not allow fear to have power. These are choices I get to make. And amazingly enough - that lesson will serve me equally as well in all areas of my life.

Nope - I choose to move "only forward, never longing to go back".

Have a beautiful day ---

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