Turn offs and Turn ons

A page from the professor's birthday journal - MaryAnn this package is on its way. (finally)

Miss MaryAnn listed some secret confessions and then some happiness generators. Following her lead I am adding my list of turn offs and turn ons about people. I will say, I pick the people I want to surround myself with very carefully. Everybody should. I want to have people challenge and encourage me to be my best and I want to do the same for my friends.

TURN OFF - constantly degrading others, either in front of them or behind their back.

TURN ON - encouraging words, respectful words, acceptance of differences.

TURN OFF - constant foul language. Reasonably intelligent adults should have enough grip on the English language to not require profanity to illustrate a point. Constant use of the "F" word just illustrates a lack of communication skill to me. (Note - I can cuss like a sailor myself and am not offended by the language, the constant use just minimizes the person's intelligence to me.)

TURN ON - someone in control of themselves. I have watched and known that someone was angry enough to unload on me, but then walk out and regain composure before we continue the conversation. That tells me the person cares enough about his/her reputation enough to be professional in public.

TURN OFF - needy people. There are somethings that will require help and that is fine. But someone who needs help with everything is an incredible burden. I have also found that these kind of people never have time to help me, but they are offended if I don't have time to help them.

TURN ON - people who will try something new. Learn a new skill. Try a new food. Read a book. Listen to new music. You never know what you might enjoy if you aren't willing to expose yourself to new things. I would have missed out on some of my favorite music if I had not allowed my girls to play their favorite radio stations.

TURN OFF - rudeness. (that should require no explanation)

TURN ON - respectful behavior. there is absolutely nothing wrong with manners.

TURN OFF - preachy people. Religion is personal. It is a relationship with God. It is a faith statement. It is lived in all aspects of a life. It is not about going to church. It is not about tithes and offerings for show. It is not about mission works for show. It is not about following the rules.

TURN ON - quiet faith. Being able to tell that someone has a faith statement without them announcing it to the world.

TURN OFF - negative - don't give a sh(* people. The reality - most of those who scream this loudly are really screaming that they wish they didn't care when they really want to be encouraged and respected. Find your demons people and make peace with them.

TURN ON - people who go that extra. Without expecting anything in return. Who will cover for a coworker and not have to brag about it. That person you know will come at 2am and not ask why before they do. Those people who will volunteer first for a job on the list. Or those who will wait and sign up last because they don't mind the crap assignment.

TURN OFF - takers

TURN ON - givers

In this journey, I have had so many of all kinds of people in my life. I want to be surrounded by encouraging people. At times I have been bitter and ugly and spiteful. I try really hard to not be that way. What I find is that I often react in all of the negative ways when I am hurt. I can also be incredibly "get even" in my mentality. I work on that constantly. I am learning to apologize when that happens. More and more I choose to be in control and let things go. I want to be recognized as respectful, kind, giving, compassionate.

I am a work in progress.

Come on now = give us some of your turn offs and ons.