Surprizes

I love scrolling through my camera after the monsters have an impromptu photo session of their own. These are fun - candid - true to life photos of them. Sure they are staged, but by them and for them. Also they edit and delete and redo over and over until they are happy with them.

I present - the Atkinson' top models - latest and greatest shots.


Molly B - in her homecoming dance dress. I cannot believe she is a senior in high school.


The softball player - Miss Abby - this was taken by big sis in my truck. I know my name is mom, but doesn't she have the most stunning and soulful eyes. I cannot believe she is in high school.

Now more accomplishments - using what I had. Sorry to say I broke that yesterday to a tune of 3.21 at the florist for some red birds. More on that project later.

I found that crochet was easy to pick up and down through the recovery. You have seen Molly's hat. Well - I have made many of these - including a black one for local best friend. I had to frog it several times because it needed to be fit OVER a golf cap. (I left a slit in the front for the bill of the hat to go through). I have made a total of 11 of these. They really are quick and easy to do.

These two are a bright orange novelty yarn and there is a sibling version of this in a white that I finished yesterday morning. These will be Christmas gifts for kids on my CIP project list.

If you wish to stop reading now - its okay - the next few lines are for me - about me - and designed only to help others who might be struggling with some of this themselves.

My surgery has not been a traumatic issue for me. Minimal discomfort. Minimal inconvenience. Over the last several days I have pondered a few things. One - I am FAT - Years of medications to prevent a recurrance of cancer risks - bad eating decisions - a lifestyle that allows me lots of sitting time - all added up to many extra pounds. I felt bad and I looked bad. Overweight is unhealthy. Then I started having issues with my cycle - sometimes next to nothing - sometimes a gushing flood. I have often thought the excess was because I was fat. I felt old and betrayed by my body. I lost my "fun" and I lost the feeling of sexy. I never knew when I might spot or worse. All of this was so gradual that there was no alarm bell that said - "there is a problem here. "

Over the last several years, I have destroyed so many mental health demons. I now feel so much better about every decision I have ever made. I understand why and why they were good or bad decisions. So I felt qualified to make this surgery decison without any qualms.

I was warned about depression - no more children. That wasn't an issue for me at all and as it turns out has been an unnessary warning. I am not afraid of the cancer recurrance any longer. I'll just deal with it if needed. I will no longer be taking any drugs. AND on Sunday night I found myself dancing. Not dancing with someone or for someone, just dancing because it felt good to do so. Even though I am still uncomfortable and recovering, my body feels better. I feel strong. I feel back in control. I felt like moving to the beat of some song on the radio - just like I used to. We were painting backdrops at the church. I was in grungy clothes. The radio was playing - kids were everywhere - and Miss Teresa was singing and dancing - completely unaware and not caring who was watching. For the first time in a long time - I danced - for me.

People - I write this for me - to celebrate that moment - to remember it. But also to tell you - that no matter where you are in your life. Make sure that you are keeping up with your medical checks. Examine your mental health. The way you feel could have a medical basis or be related to how you eat or exercise. Maybe a medication is bringing you down. The tumour they removed from me was almost twenty ounces and the medication I took contributed to the agressive growth of the tumour. Your mental outlook is just as important. There may be a medical basis for how you feel there too, but regret over decisions, trauma, fear, and esteem issues are all possible too. Know as much as you can about your medications. Eat healthy - exercise - keep up with your check ups - do something fun for you everyday.

Life is far too precious to let it waste with negative thoughts. I am so happy that my "magic" seems to be returning. I'll be the one dancing and belting out a song. If you see me, I hope you will join me - but don't wait for someone to dance with. Feel your body - free your mind. You won't regret it.

Have a wonderful day --- Teresa