Tuesday, April 10, 2007


Photo from flickr.

That's me today.
Buffeted by the storms.
Death of a friends child.
Hurt about other things.
Trying to come to terms with so much.
Unable to cross anything off the list.
Changes occuring too rapidly
To allow for recovery time
Tears that refuse to fall
Anger simmering below the surface
Frustration at my loss for words
Unable to identify ways to help myself
Everything around me a dull roar
Old decisions that surface again
To haunt and taunt
Looking for a silver lining
Afraid I might find it
And also afraid I might not
Feeling like the demons could grow strong again
Was there something I could have done diffferently
Sudden death- unexpected
My dad - an accident
Gaping whole in my heart
Nathan -3 years old - an accident - drunk driver was his own mother
Gaping hole in my heart
Derrick - unexplained reasons for now
Brings all those old wounds to the surface
Its easier if someone is sick
To accept the death
At least you have something to tell the heart
Your heart may not listen
But you can send the message
I know my heart will heal
There will be scars
I cannot allow the scars to make me ugly
Cynical, uncaring
I will make those scars a part of the textures of me
I will trust and love and care
I will open again
I will still be as fragile as the rose
I will still be as strong as the thorn
I will choose not to injure with those thorns
I will choose to be beautiful - even after the storm.

Sorry guys - tough day. Be back tomorrow or Thursday with some MaggieGrace goodies.


ellen kelley said...

I am concerned..I sent a note but don't see it. I'll check in the a.m. If it doesn't get to you this eve. please know that someone is thinking of you and holding you in her heart.

ann-margret said...

*HUGGGGGS* I'm praying for you tonight. Thanks for sharing and reaching out. Here's another *HUG*!!

lalheg said...

Sending love around the world to you. Take care