bits

That's Mama Norvan's tree. The Man at my Address and I decorated this for many many years before she passed away. It kept growing and growing and we kept adding and adding lights - eventually putting it on a separate electrical service. It was a tradition I hoped would never go away and yet it did when she died. He did it that last year and then no more. I have a red maple at my house and when it gets a little bigger, we will decorate it and REMEMBER.

I have been a little subdued for the last several weeks. I am pondering something that was said to me. Having a "come to Jesus meeting" with myself over my hurt feelings and not being very successful at letting this thing go. Not angry, not depressed, but hurt and my temper tantrum little girl reaction is not the right thing to do - at least I have not resorted to that.

On to brighter things. I share a ton of stories about myself, about my life and the things that happen. I share those stories here and in person. My friend Tanya remarked at BootCamp that the funniest things happen to me. Let me reassure you that I do not have "dibbs" on adventures and misadventures. Everything is about perspective. As I approach the end of an incredible year, I am reading my posts and REMEMBERING. I am remembering that it really was funny when the dog dropped a dead mole in the floor. I am remembering the pride I felt at know my daughter is part of a nationally ranked (academically) softball team. I am remembering what it felt like to cry through more than one workout as I am trying to undo years of inactivity. I am remembering the humiliation of puking on the side of the road after a particularly difficult workout. I am remembering the happy dances of success and the fears and prayers for loved ones.

I am a survivor. I looked hard things in the face and walked away with very little cynacism. I chose and choose every day to celebrate the tiniest bit of laughter. I realize the blessings of having a home I love - a family that loves one another - and the many friends that grace our path. I have a job that I love (well - most days). I have a church that feels like an extension of my home and family. I have the knowledge that I am a child of God and the grace and faith that come with that is central to my life. I have the knowing that even at my lowest and most challenging point I am not alone.

And yes - I have adventures and misadventures - and they are my stories. The stories are my life. Somedays that life is hilarious. Other days find us at the other end of the spectrum. But you know what. I am happy - I am content - I am comfortable with who I am - my life is a product of the decisions I have made and I cannot blame anyone else for that. So I choose to share the story.

hang on - this life is a wild ride - but I promise it is well worth it.

Look for it - you can find it if you really look - there are even blessings in what seem like the worst of times - and there are moments of serious laughter to be had on those good days. Share your story - write it down - then go back through it and see the blessings. You will be so glad you did.

Oh and by the way - a dead mole in the kitchen floor is FUNNY. The beer bottles on top of the TV cabinet - well they probably will still show up there as long as the Man at my Address is still there. And the cheap and homemade wooden nativity - that will be on the chest in front of the sofa - and if I have to explain it to you - you wouldn't understand.

REMEMBER - I am - and I am looking forward to a lot more living and sharing of my story.

How about you?

Merry Christmas.