Another old photo

I promise to post some more current photos of me in the near future.

I was 4 in this picture. The flower girl in my Uncle Tommy's wedding. My Dad was the best man. My baby sister screamed "I want daddy" through the entire thing. The wedding was held at the small town PH church I grew up in. That's all I remember about that day. I still have the dress and the veil somewhere.

We did receive the bad news yesterday. My friend's son died from a drug overdose. Accidental - tragic - stupid. So today the feelings of shock have turned to anger. And because the small town papers print the police reports in full, this news travelled like lightning. I feel as though the entire universe is weighing me down. I am not eating like I should, I don't sleep very well. And I know that I am removed from this and what my friends must feel has to be multiples worse.

I have retreated into my protective self. That in and of itself is a little scary for me. When things get out of control the food issues return, because that is one thing I can control. I suffered anorexia as a teenager and because I am overweight now, people seem to think that those issues are gone. Part of the reason I am overweight, is that I have been scared to diet, because I know how I CAN control what I eat. Food issues are as serious as drug issues. I am however aware of these tendencies and I guard against them. Right now I am crocheting and working on a few other things. I am trying to be quiet and allow my soul to feel its way through this emotionally charged time.

Please continue your prayers for the family.

Now - I saw on another blog a Thursday 13 list and tomorrow is Friday the 13th. I am going to post 13 blessings from my day, just so I can have a bright note (maybe this one is lime green).

1. My best friend who has listened to me babble through so much crap. Who knows basically everything about me and chooses to love me anyway.
2. Molly - who convinces me that God knew what he was doing and that's why I had to wait so long for her.
3. Abby - who shows me everyday that God had a sense of humour and even though we were not supposed to have her, she was supposed to be the light of my life.
4. Mom - we had storms and we have had healing to do. I am so glad she is still here to share life with.
5. That man I live with - who has time and again allowed me to discover that I am strong enough for anything.
6. The sunshine.
7. The rain from yesterday.
8. Dove extra dark chocolates - I have steady reached for these today, just to read the affirmations in the wrappers.
9. The miracle of modern medicine - the migraines no longer send me to bed.
10. I survived a cancer diagnosis.
11. The quiet and stillness of the house when everyone else is asleep.
12. A coke and a candy bar
13. Knowing that I am a child of God and that I will never be truly alone.

There you go. 13 blessings. I tag any of you readers to come up with your own 13.

Have a wonderful day. Mine is going to get better.