A WIP finished -

My ATC for Small Creations Swap Vintage Children in Party hats. Going in the mail today. Funny - I can look at my artwork and see my mood. I was having a terrible time with some things whenI selected my elements for these.

I am happy with these, but the little girl looks sad and lonely, just like I felt. I almost added the phrase "its my party and I'll cry if I want to". I do hope the people who end up with these are happy with them too.

I used some of my favorite paper on these. The torn gold on the background is a beautiful Japanese paper. I had several sheets and only have a tiny bit of it left. It is a textured gold finish on the front and a kraft paper on back, so when you tear it it leaves this contrasting edge. You can really see that on the top left card. I loved this paper from the second I saw it and have used it a lot in various projects.

I find it difficult to separate my mental state from my artistic state. This is why I can never do commissioned items. I work from somewhere inside of me. When I am planning, I make these stacks, I add to them and subtract from them, until it suddenly "gels" - then I can sit down and hammer the project out quickly. This is true of art pieces as well as "production" stuff. I have piles and then the muse hits and I will bang out a dozen ornaments. Or I start a piece and it just isn't finished - then suddenly I'll remember or see something in my stash, and add just the thing that makes a piece "sing to my soul".

For years I struggled with being a cancer survivor, with the loss of people I loved, with bad decisions, with food issues directly related to emotional issues, etc. Everything I created during that period was DARK. Then as I started resolving things I saw the LIGHT coming through in my work. Now that I consider myself a "normal" functioning person, I can see even subtle changes in my work that reflect where I am. Why can I see it now? I think its because I am finally being honest with myself. I can focus on staying balanced. I can focus on giving me what I need mentally and physically.

There is a side to that awareness that can be negative, the people who did not grow with me, who chose to stagnate in their emotional and mental growth, are now often offended, even angry, that I have moved ahead without them. I am not the same as I was yesterday, last year, 10 years ago, and I am happy about it. I plan on continuing this path, if you want my company you are gonna hafta grow too.

I hope that I have given my girls the tools they need to nurture their growth. To make good decisions for themselves. To choose the company they keep carefully.

We all need to be surrounded by those who are encouraging us to stay on the right path. We need to people who build us up and want us to be the best we can be. Leave the negative, continually needy people, the selfish ones, the mean spirited ones behind. By all means, be the kind of person who builds up, who inspires, who helps, who spreads love and goodwill. You will be better for it and thats what really counts.

Have a beautiful day.

Using what I have day 18 - my bank balance is happier too.