Thursday, May 24, 2007

Calm amongst the chaos

This is a terrifying picture to all of you Type "A" people, I am sure. Floss and yarn and papers piled in this box. This is the epitome of my life. Chaos - looks uncontrolled doesn't it? As my neice Laura describes, I am the artsy type. This box is full of fun to me. It actually is the result of the cleaning and organizing that is taking place in MaggieGrace world.

I save stuff. Lot's of stuff. (My mom and sister do too.) If you click on the picture you will see order among this chaos. Floss is wrapped around bobbins or looped through labeled cardboard. Remnants of past projects. Bags of floss have been pulled from this box and that, then tossed in here. Some is old - vintage shall we say. The box also contains some of Charles Grandmother's floss and the clear - hard plastic box was hers. Underneath is the ultimate score for a bargain shopper - floss organized by color (I did that) purchased at an outlet for 25 cents/bag. They are cut floss from needlework kits that went unused. This is the box I go to for fun projects, those with no charted color or colors I am choosing to change. As I have cleaned, the stuff from everywhere is becoming more centrally located - the floss and threads are no different. Mind you - I have a fully bobbined, labeled and sorted box of the DMC colors. And those charted patterns come from there. This box is the one I dig through for my designs. GO ahead - click on the picture - bet you find something you like.

This picture on the other hand is calm and complete and reflects what I consider to be one of my better moments of inspiration. This is the dining room window. I am not traditional in my choices and my window treatments are no exception. This room is adjacent to the living room and there are 3 windows to cover. Three crochet tablecloths from a discount store - three plate racks from Tuesday Morning. Soft and pretty against the chocolate milk walls. The plate racks give me a place for display and the metal picture hanging down was a dollar store purchase - Three different ones for 9.00 total. This is just a fun reflection of my personality - some people would say I am a little strange. Note - the rest of this room looks like the box in the picture above.

We have a friend and I swear there is not one place in her house that looks like the box. She doesn't even have a junk drawer. She has a cleaning schedule and there are chores on it that I would not dream of doing on a regular basis. Things like - wash the baseboards (once a month) and clean the top of the fridge (every week) She even plans a purge day for tossing outdated canned goods and medications. We love her. She is brilliant and funny and beautiful and loving and kind and non judgemental and a wonderful picture of marriage for young couples- I love going to her clean and organized house. I could never function in her world for long. She doesn't understand my world at all - but she loves me. And she buys the things I make as gifts, because she appreciates that the care given a handcrafted item is worthy of support. She is the calm among the chaos in her world. Those creations are the calm in mine.

I have a project in my purse for the doctors office today. Someone will ask what I am making. Unlike reading - which isolates you in that environment - creating seems to invite conversation. A distraction from the fact that I am about to be poked and prodded and have certain parts of my anatomy mashed flat. I like that. I like meeting others and will gladly share my brief time with them. They may be like Jean - my world may not make any sense at all to them - but for those few minutes we have something to talk about. You never know how one of those conversations may impact a person - or yourself.

That is actually how I forged the relationship with my now best friend. We worked in the same building and as I was leaving one day, I popped my head in his office to say goodbye. He seems to need to talk about something and I sat down and listened. Seems like all I said was "Are you okay?" I took the time to listen. He has taken the time to do the same. I have taken the time to talk. He has done the same. We also know will get on each others a*% for stupidity and try to keep our mouth shut when needed. Do that for some one - you will be blessed.

The man at my address probably doesn't even remember that I have this appointment today. I don't discuss the stress of it with the girls - they both would worry - but if something major is happening I will tell them. Does this bother me? Nope - I have been through most of my life's stressful situations alone. He is quiet and introverted and not really comfortable in this type of situation - Mom (that's me) handles the hard stuff. (His Mom handles the hard stuff too) I have no anger or disappointment about it at all. I am strong and capable and I have learned that there is very little that I cannot do. When my Mom had her stroke - my sister's family and I handled it. I stayed with Charles grandparents when they were sick. Many nights I went to the hospital to stay with my Nanny when she was dying - after I worked and then did Mommy stuff. As a result, I am not really comfortable leaning on anyone. (I am learning to do this more as I get older) I tend to be more than a little stubborn and self sufficient.

There you have a complete random post. Chaotic. But with an air of calm and acceptance around it. Even with the fear demon trying to push itself forward, I am in a good place. I have no anger this morning, really not a even lot of fear either. Stress - yes - fear - not really. 10 years ago the news took away the luxury of this being just another doctor visit - never again - but look how much I have gained since then. The CANCER word has given me a respect and appreciation of so much. I am truly a very blessed person. I can accept others for where they are and what they are capable of bringing to my life. I can choose to have a positive impact on theirs. I can face the walls and other obstacles know that I have a choice in dealing with them. I can celebrate even the smallest detail in life. I appreciate what others do for me. I respect that not everyone will like me or want to be in my company. Again I say - I am a very blessed person.

I hope you all will have a fantastic day. See you tomorrow.


Roxanne said...

I'll be praying for good news for you today!! Your words are truly inspirational and your attitude is amazing!

MaryAnn said...

I love your little corners of chaos. Seems to me we'd get along right as rain!

OldBagNewTricks said...

I am waving my magical wand that results for you today are negative in the most dazzlingly hopeful way. I would love to be your neighbor -- we could trade chaos and sip tequila -- what could be better than that?