Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Things

Okay - so I need to laugh at myself today - work is far too stressful to laugh at -so I am going to tell some of the stories on myself.

These things will all be very funny one day for the monsters to talk about too. This entire list could also be referenced as THINGS I HOPE MY CHILDREN NEVER DO.

1. On my high school graduation night - I was drinking hunch punch with the man at my address and a good friend from school. She and I decided to skinny dip. I was in the water up to chest deep before I realized we had forgotten a critical step in this process - I still had my clothes on. (btw - what exactly is in hunch punch.)

2. Have any of you been dropped off on the side of the street from a tractor trailer cab at 3 am - carrying your shoes so you don't get them wet in the sprinklers. (It was not what you are thinking - I promise)

3. Ever walked into a bar on Burbon Street in New Orleans during the jazz festival and had the bartender call you by first name with the phrase "Oh good, Teresa's here, now this party can start" - I have that t-shirt too.

4. I have been guilty of cursing my soon to be Father-in-Law as he was making too much noise in the kitchen. The man at my address thought he was superman - complete with the cape - the night before. (Dennis if you are still reading here - may want to ask about this one - there are pictures of Superman) There was alcohol involved. This was the same night we loaded a lit hibatchi grill into the cab of a truck and moved to the lake and back.

5. If I want to send my sister into an unrecoverable fit of the giggles - all I have to do is snort. Long story - we replay this particular funny almost every time the entire family gets together. Yes I am 40+ but it is still too funny when it happens.

6. I have been accused of being the only woman some guy knew who put more clothes on with every tequila drink he bought me.

7. On having a customer come in and me thinking she looked familiar. She did look familiar - she owned a bar and I was almost asked to leave for stacking gooseneck beer bottles bottom to bottom and neck to neck on the table. I had fourteen stacked when this conversation occurred. She is still a customer.

8. know what a company front is? I am a band geek and was the very end of the line formed as the band came straight across the field. Problem - mini bottles snuck onto the band bus. Bigger problem - turning the wrong way and meeting my daddy in the end zone of the football field.

How come all these are alcohol related??????????

Having written all this, it is an absolute wonder that I am a responsible functional adult. Proof positive that we all make mistakes and even I can over come all of mine. Oh there is more I can tell - these just came to mind today.

ONE THING YOU WILL NOT FIND IN MY PAST - NOT ONE ILLEGAL DRUG EVER.

That I am so very proud of. Lannae - I promise I will not corrupt your boys.

Come on everyone - share something about yourself.

Have a great day.

4 comments:

Laura said...

The main ingredient in hunch punch is grain alcohol. Bad, bad idea. :)

Loved the stories!

i am very mary said...

I went skinny dipping one time only. Alcohol was involved, but clothing was not. Good grief. How embarassing.

i am very mary said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Raesha D said...

what great stories!!! i'm proud to say I have not a single illegal drug in my life too:) One of my secrets - when I was 18 I made out with the guy sitting next to me on the greyhound bus on the way from Colorado Springs to Albuquerque. I don't think I ever even knew his name. DOH!!!!!